Day 14 - Jodie refuses to drink.

Jodie isn't drinking at all. Everytime she is bottlefed her saturation drops and the oxygen is on its highest. Her little body is full of needlepricks as her veins keep on falling flat and the drips tissue. She had another three times of veins not holding. I left NICU at 11pm that night with a drip in her foot and arm. On arrival the next morning - with a very tired body and mind - I noticed all her hair was shaven off and she had two drips in her head. What an awfull sight! She must've had a terrible night, I counted 17 needlepricks in her head. I sat next to her and started praying. " God, please once again I beg you to help our baby, God she is helpless, You saved her life. All I am asking is make her well enough to take her home". Jodie did not drink at all that day.

Day 13, the trouble starts...

At 10:05 am I was sitting next to the nurse who was bottle feeding Jodie when her saturation dropped, and Jodie turned blue. The nurse quickly gave her oxygen and she returned back to normal, or so I thought. The rest of the day I tried giving Jodie bottle and she kept on turning blue with her sats dropping whilst on oxygen. The doctor was called and an xray revealed that she had aspiration neumonia. A 13 day old baby with neumonia, my heart was shattered. The nurses requested me to leave while they tried to find a vein for a drip and antibiotics. I didn't go far, standing outside the door I could hear her screaming (which was really weird because Jodie never cried - it seemed as if she just couldn't cry or make any sounds at all). It took twenty minutes, I paced up and down with tears streaming down my face, my poor baby, they are hurting her. I phoned my hubby with the bad news and he was distraught. My husband had a massive heart attack in February and only with God's grace did he survive. Just before going back into NICU I bumped into Jodie's paed, who then told me very abruptly that she has aspirated because of the syndrome..... I stared at him, not know what to say, what did he mean, what syndrome, she is perfect. God blessed me with this baby, there is nothing wrong with her. The doc turned around and left me with many unanswered questions. I immediately phoned my husband and he arrived at the hospital. On his way he had a look on the internet for babies with flat thumbs and syndromes.... He then told me he read about a syndrome called Rubinstein Taybi and it doesn't look good. We then agreed that we will never speak about it again as God will never allow this to happen to our child. Walking back into NICU was shocking, she had a drip in her tiny little foot and in her hand. Her eyes were swollen shut from the oxygen and red from crying. You know the worst think for me was that when Jodie cried, there was no sound just a tear rolling down her cheek.... Two hours later the drip in her foot tissued, they had to re-do it. It was placed in a vein in her left calf. Three hours later the other drip tissued and was placed in her other hand. At 9pm I left NICU to granny's house, my poor son, so unsure of what was going on. He even said that next time we have a baby we must have a boy because girls just isn't right.

Day 12 I get to dress her

After 12 days of arriving at NICU at 7am and leaving at 8pm the nurses said I could dress her. Sitting in NICU every day next to her holding her little hand and just staring, isn't it just wonderful how a person can feel so fulfilled by just starting at someone for 13hours. While dressing her my hubby and I noticed Jodie had flat thumbs, but we didn't think anything of it, we even jokingly said she sucked on them in the womb that's why it's so flat. On day 12 the bottle feeding also started, Yes, breastmilk, I wanted to breastfeed her so badly because then we would bond, we never had time to bond. Jodie only had to drink 25mls, yes that's right only 5 teaspoons. She did great, she finished her bottles and we thought the time for us to go home is coming. Devon hasn't even seen his little sister yet.

Day 8 I am holding my baby AT LAST...

The world stood still for me that day, I took her in my arms and for the first time in 8 days I smiled. It wasn't just a smile, it was as if a ray of sunlight surrounded us, she was so small. I placed her on my chest and slowly felt the tears rolling down my face....

JODIE's here, JODIE's here.....!!!

At 13:15pm Jodie was born, she didn't cry, she was purple.... I only saw her for a second as they rushed her off to NICU. Why did she not cry? "God, what's going on? Please let her be fine" I just wanted to get up and run to see her. An hour later I was pushed back into my cold, lonely hospital room. I FELT DEAD! My hubby walked in and I could see he was trying to be strong, he confirmed she was fine but on oxygen. We said a prayer together, "Thank you God for saving our baby" Jodie did not get enough oxygen hence the purple colour, this was not good news for her lungs, she wasn't suppose to make the c-section BUT she did. Once again I could not wait to go to NICU to hold her and see her. Two hours later I was pushed into NICU, I didn't know if I wanted to cry or just run away. It felt as if I was having a horrible dream and that Jodie was still safe inside my womb. She was so tiny weighing 1.9kgs, she had lines in her navel for drawing blood and the oxygen "hat" was so big I couldn't see her face. I just wanted to hold her and comfort her so that she can feel that mommy is there. I only held my baby eight days later.... Just imagine seven months of excitement, praise to God and anticipation, and then being unable to hold your baby for 8 days. I was an emotional wreck, never happy, always crying, but worst of all doubting my faith.

Month Seven.....

Month seven started off with really BIG kicks and once again crams and high blood pressure! "God, please help it go away, she is so perfect, let her be fine, let me be fine" At the end of month seven the contractions started. "No, God Please I prayed, it's too soon, she only weighs 2.4kgs. I kept on praying knowing that God is in control and He will make it stop.... but it didn't. The morning of the 20th of April I couldn't bare the pain anyomer and went to visit the gynae, which in turn booked me into hopital and said we will have to to a c-section. I realised then that God has had this planned from the beginning and He was in control, I felt re-assured. I just couldn't wait to meet her. On the 23rd of April the contractions were extremely close to each other and the doc said we'll do the c-section immediately. My mother and sister drove all the way from Nelspruit and I so wished they would arrive. Just as I was being pushed into teathre my mom and sister arrived. My mother said a prayer and I started crying, scared but thankfull. I am going to meet my little girl! "Thank you Lord, thank you, I prayed" I have been a Christian all my life thanks to my mom and dad. Going into teathre was great! Can you believe it, it was SUPER exciting, I just wanted to see her and hold her. The angel God sent me was coming into my life, everything was just perfect.

Month 6, not so good news....

During month six of my pregnancy I was booked into the hospital with cramps and high blood pressure.... I prayed " God, Please let my little girl be fine", yes it was a little girl. I overheard Devon pray one evening asking God for a sister. With tears of joy streaming down my face, I confirmed that he is going to have a baby sister. My husband went to the Mighty Men Conference the year before and left a piece of paper in his Bible which I discovered during my pregnancy. It was a list of everything he thanked God for blessing him with, and of course at the end of the list he asked for a daughter. How wonderful is that, we received what we prayed for. With God's help we were fine and left the hospital feeling thankfull. Every day passing, Jodie grew bigger and stronger. She wasnt a big baby but she was normal and with every scan I fell more and more in love with her. She was beautiful, just what I asked for....

On the 30th of August 2008 I prayed and asked God for a baby, then God gave me Jodie......

On 15 September 2008 I very sneekily bought a pregnancy test.... My son Devon and hubby was in the kitchen when I walked in, I had the biggest smile ever. I waved the pregnancy test around jumping up and down, like a little girl just before christmas eve. My son didn't know what was going on and when I explained his eyes when star bright and he started laughing with joy. He has been waiting for a little friend for years, we even laughed because in his mind if you buy a pregnancy test then God gives you a baby, he said that we should've bought it a long time ago. We just about phoned the whole world with the good news. That night I prayed and thanked our Heavenly Father that he blessed us with a little baby. Every day that went by, the little one grew bigger and stronger, how wonderful it feels to have a little miracle grow inside my womb. I could hardly wait to buy baby goodies and counted the days from the one scan to the next.