Wednesday, April 29, 2009
The world stood still for me that day, I took her in my arms and for the first time in 8 days I smiled. It wasn't just a smile, it was as if a ray of sunlight surrounded us, she was so small. I placed her on my chest and slowly felt the tears rolling down my face....
at 1:08 AM
Thursday, April 23, 2009
At 13:15pm Jodie was born, she didn't cry, she was purple.... I only saw her for a second as they rushed her off to NICU. Why did she not cry? "God, what's going on? Please let her be fine" I just wanted to get up and run to see her. An hour later I was pushed back into my cold, lonely hospital room. I FELT DEAD! My hubby walked in and I could see he was trying to be strong, he confirmed she was fine but on oxygen. We said a prayer together, "Thank you God for saving our baby" Jodie did not get enough oxygen hence the purple colour, this was not good news for her lungs, she wasn't suppose to make the c-section BUT she did. Once again I could not wait to go to NICU to hold her and see her. Two hours later I was pushed into NICU, I didn't know if I wanted to cry or just run away. It felt as if I was having a horrible dream and that Jodie was still safe inside my womb. She was so tiny weighing 1.9kgs, she had lines in her navel for drawing blood and the oxygen "hat" was so big I couldn't see her face. I just wanted to hold her and comfort her so that she can feel that mommy is there. I only held my baby eight days later.... Just imagine seven months of excitement, praise to God and anticipation, and then being unable to hold your baby for 8 days. I was an emotional wreck, never happy, always crying, but worst of all doubting my faith.
at 12:00 AM
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Month seven started off with really BIG kicks and once again crams and high blood pressure! "God, please help it go away, she is so perfect, let her be fine, let me be fine" At the end of month seven the contractions started. "No, God Please I prayed, it's too soon, she only weighs 2.4kgs. I kept on praying knowing that God is in control and He will make it stop.... but it didn't. The morning of the 20th of April I couldn't bare the pain anyomer and went to visit the gynae, which in turn booked me into hopital and said we will have to to a c-section. I realised then that God has had this planned from the beginning and He was in control, I felt re-assured. I just couldn't wait to meet her. On the 23rd of April the contractions were extremely close to each other and the doc said we'll do the c-section immediately. My mother and sister drove all the way from Nelspruit and I so wished they would arrive. Just as I was being pushed into teathre my mom and sister arrived. My mother said a prayer and I started crying, scared but thankfull. I am going to meet my little girl! "Thank you Lord, thank you, I prayed" I have been a Christian all my life thanks to my mom and dad. Going into teathre was great! Can you believe it, it was SUPER exciting, I just wanted to see her and hold her. The angel God sent me was coming into my life, everything was just perfect.
at 11:52 PM