At 13:15pm Jodie was born, she didn't cry, she was purple.... I only saw her for a second as they rushed her off to NICU. Why did she not cry? "God, what's going on? Please let her be fine" I just wanted to get up and run to see her. An hour later I was pushed back into my cold, lonely hospital room. I FELT DEAD! My hubby walked in and I could see he was trying to be strong, he confirmed she was fine but on oxygen. We said a prayer together, "Thank you God for saving our baby" Jodie did not get enough oxygen hence the purple colour, this was not good news for her lungs, she wasn't suppose to make the c-section BUT she did. Once again I could not wait to go to NICU to hold her and see her. Two hours later I was pushed into NICU, I didn't know if I wanted to cry or just run away. It felt as if I was having a horrible dream and that Jodie was still safe inside my womb. She was so tiny weighing 1.9kgs, she had lines in her navel for drawing blood and the oxygen "hat" was so big I couldn't see her face. I just wanted to hold her and comfort her so that she can feel that mommy is there. I only held my baby eight days later.... Just imagine seven months of excitement, praise to God and anticipation, and then being unable to hold your baby for 8 days. I was an emotional wreck, never happy, always crying, but worst of all doubting my faith.