INSANITY!

If there was an award for insanity, I think I would probably win first prize... Yes, Jodie is ill again. Yesterday was a very difficult day for me, I get these days once a month where I just go totaly insane. Jodie has been coughing again, and with coughing comes vomiting and fever. I never take her out of the house because of fear that she'll get ill. Sitting at home with no television, no internet, just me and little Jodie, which I suppose is not a bad thing because we get to do her neuro and speech exercises ALL DAY LONG. She is now at the stage where she starts laughing at me when I start the speech exercises. It is so frustrating when one sit for hours, like a parrot, repeating words and sounds with no response in return. We did the "normal" yesterday and then I started thinking of her future (which is a definate NO-NO). With our usual starting spells at her best friend - the ceiling fan - I started to panick. The walls closed in on me, I started hyperventilating and ended up vomiting in the bathroom. How is it possible to feel so sick? I was pondering about her health, our finances, her growth, her speech and once again her broncho-neumonia. It's absolutely driving me insane not to be able to shower (which ends up in a 10 second scrub down), not to clean the house, not to do the laundry and not to spend time with my son and hubby. I feel as if I have a newborn baby and look it too. Then when my really hectic day of doing nothing but taking care of Jodie ends, and I get into bed at 10pm totally exhausted... my jimmy legs syndrome starts :-)